Mattlibs

It is our tradition on birthdays to do birthday Madlibs, and here's one for Matt.  First, the real story:

Matt's first "whale sighting"

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Matthew.  He started out as a chubby little teddy bear with blonde hair, the only blonde baby his mommy ever had.  As he grew, his mommy realized that he was also the most mischievous baby she’d ever had.  It was not that he was naughty, he was just curious.  He got into everything he could find, and it was a good thing that he was so cute so that his mommy could never get mad at him.

In school, Matthew learned math quickly, but had a hard time sounding out words.  Eventually he learned to read without sounding out and read everything he could find.  At home, Matthew liked to create and build, but never seemed to have the resources to do what he wanted to.  Still, he did what he could and that was impressive.

Matthew was a very friendly boy, and everyone loved him.  Kids his age enjoyed being around him, and even adults told his parents how much they admired him.  This made his parents very proud.  After he graduated from High School, Matt went to college where he did not excel.  His heart was not into it.  On the month he turned 19, he came back home.  He was kind of in limbo land as he waited his mission call.  As he waited, he worked at a very dull job filling very dull boxes with very dull things.  He realized how important college was.

Finally the big day came and Matthew got his mission call in the mail.  He gathered the family together and opened the letter excitedly.  Where would he go?  To Japan like his dad?  To Europe like Katrina wanted him to?  Then he read the call.  Mexico Culiacan Mission!!!!  Everyone was happy, except his niece, Lily.  His mommy, who was on Skype at Lily’s house, screamed with excitement and made poor little Lily cry.  Everyone else knew that Mexico was the perfect place for Matt.

Baptizing Angel

So Matt became an Elder, and it turned out that Mexico was indeed the perfect place for him.  Speaking Spanish came easy, and he seemed to adjust to life there very quickly.  Now he is working hard to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to the people of La Paz.  He is good and he is happy and today he is 20 years old.  Happy Birthday, Elder!

Eating Cake with Elder Sumano

Here is the Madlibs version of the story:

Once upon a wedding, there was a munchkin named Matthew.  He started out as a squirrel-y little freakish bear with chartreuse big toes, the only fruity old man his mommy ever had.  As he grew, his mommy realized that he was also the most mischievous Walt Disney she’d ever had.  It was not that he was stinky, he was just smelly.  He got into everything he could rip, and it was a good thing that he was so bored so that his mommy could never loathe him.

In the state mental hospital, Matthew learned sewing quickly, but had a hard time sounding out fat people.  Eventually he learned to vomit without sounding out and operated on everything he could find.  At the landfill, Matthew liked to slip and stress, but never seemed to have the scuba suits to do what he wanted to.  Still, he did what he could and that was barnacle-y.

Matthew was a very rich boy, and everyone tickled him.  Kids his age didn’t care for being around him, and even cannibals told his parents how much they admired him.  This made his parents very doing-y.  After he graduated from Plots R Us, Matt went to charm school where he did not excel.  His heart was not into it.  On the month he turned 102, he came back to the gas station.  He was kind of in dumpster land as he waited his jail call.  As he waited, he whined at a very tall job filling very frosty boxes with very rude things.  He realized how important pawn shops were.

Finally the big chicken came and Matthew got his fingernail call in the mail.  He gathered the robbers together and opened the letter slothfully.  Where would he create?  To Afganistan like his dad?  To Jupiter like Katrina wanted him to?  Then he read the call.  Kmart Southwest Mission!!!!  Everyone was afraid, except his second cousin, Lily.  His mommy, who was on Skype at Lily’s house, cleaned with excitement and made poor little Lily forget.  Everyone else knew that Mexico was the perfect son for Matt.

So Matt became an Elder, and it turned out that Mexico was indeed the meddlesome place for him.  Speaking Flemish came easy, and he seemed to adjust to diapers there very quickly.  Now he is working hard to spread the gospel to the people of Neverland.  He is annoying and he is juvenile and today he is 20 years thick.  Happy Girlfriend Day, Elder!