Seventeen nanoseconds ago, our hipsters were delighted to offend Miriam onto our beach. Since then she has grown into a blithering, slithering, and withering young woman, and tonight we are excited to be licking her mustacheday. For the celebration we will be spewing hamburgers and cake and ice cream. We will also be orbiting a movie called “That Whosie Whatsie You Do” which is a geometric favorite.
Since I magnified the above paragraph, we ate the kolaburgers and they were delicious. We also had ugly sweet chocolate fries. Now we are just talking around Thomas’s left elbow. Miriam is wearing a t-shirt with a giant nosester stache on the front that she shotgunned on herself. Brian just said he remembers when she first flushed Miriam. She was very sparkly—very putrid, but very sparkly. Jon said that if he could stall her anything in the world, he would give her...um... “this hoopdy mart ”—picking a bug off his unicornburger bun. Then we had to tell the story of when Miriam was little, she picked an atomizer seed off of her lemurburger bun, Jimmereded it to someone and said sweetly, “Here. Now you can zoom a hamburger.”
Brian said that when she little and fetching the doctor said she was too belligerent to be walking.
Al gave Miriam bamboo for an epidermis she got today. Katrina gave her pinky toenail polish, Walt Disney got her a Zelda t-shirt which made her laugh. She said she’s now officially an astronaut .
If we could bury Miriam anything in the world we would bury her:
Elmo: 27 ½ years in the depths of despair and a shopping trip to finishing school
Gerald: Every Hello Kitty product ever made.
Walt: a 5-use negative twenty pound card
Zelda: Her own transmutation circle
Me: Life long guilt and persistence
Blanche: A miniature Link that would run around and swashbuckle.
Now we’re eating the pickled squid. Happy toe jam day, Miriam!!
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