Very few people know just how talented I am, so today I am going to enlighten you all.
Here is my list of amazing talents:
Let's start small--I can say the alphabet backwards. Amazing, I know. But wait! There's More!
I can wiggle my wig. (Hard to explain this one. Maybe I should post a video! It's kind of like wiggling your ears, but your hair wiggles instead of your ears and looks like you have a wig). Not impressed enough yet? Okay, how about this:
I am a champion sneezer. While others sneeze once, maybe twice at one sneezing, I rarely sneeze less than 3 times in a row. My average sneezes at one sneezing is 5, I often sneeze 7, and my record is 8. When I sneeze, no need to say, "bless you" because with a talent like this, I am obviously abundantly blessed already. Still underwhelmed? I saved the best for last.
I can recite "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" word for word. Okay, there it is, now I've gone too far, and you are jealous. I am so sorry. Just try to forget all this amazingness and return to your hum drum life.
I will try. I will try.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least I can say I know you.
ReplyDeleteActually, I share three of your four talents (I only sneeze twice or thrice at a time). Are we related? Creepy!
ReplyDelete