Tuesday, despite complaints on Monday when I announced it, Katrina and Thomas and I went bike riding. Yesterday, despite grumblings the night before, Miriam and Katrina went to Summer seminary and Thomas accompanied me to the grocery store. Now today, despite all opposition, we (Miriam, Katrina, Thomas, and I) will be walking to the grocery store, buying Popsicles, and eating them on the way home. The complaints for this one were many and varied. “It will wear me out before work” and “It’s not enough exercise, I need to do REAL exercise.” Those two were from the same kid. Hmmm. Then there was “I’ll get a sunburn” and “I’ll get a bad tan line.” I remembered to do what the experts say—I acknowledged their pain and then restated the plan. If that hadn’t done the trick, I could have always said something like, “family comes before anything else.” This is called a threat and translated it means “If you ever want to see your friends or video games again, you are doing this first, and you will have fun doing it.”
Things I have learned about Summer so far
· Kids need to have a wake up time. Enough of this laying in bed all morning. They grumbled about it on Monday but already most if not all of them are up and at-em before the allotted time. It’s done wonders for the week so far.
· Kids need to be dressed and fed with their rooms clean by a certain time every day.
· Kids need a reason to walk or bike somewhere—usually involving food. Bring a picnic or snack to eat when you arrive at your destination or plan to buy a treat. This is called bribery. It’s not enough to make them jump for joy at the prospect of going, but it eases the pain.
· Things work better when I start small instead of turning things on their heads all at once. I’m trying to do it bit by bit.
· And if I’ve learned anything in the decade I’ve been raising teenagers, I know that I should never never get discouraged by grumbling. Most teenagers grumble out of principle. I’ve found that If I cheerfully keep dogging away that they will eventually accept the changes as part of who we are and what we do. One of these days, one of them will come up and say, “Mom, where are we walking tomorrow?” without any tacked-on complaints. At that point, I'll know we’re in business.
· Kids need to have a wake up time. Enough of this laying in bed all morning. They grumbled about it on Monday but already most if not all of them are up and at-em before the allotted time. It’s done wonders for the week so far.
· Kids need to be dressed and fed with their rooms clean by a certain time every day.
· Kids need a reason to walk or bike somewhere—usually involving food. Bring a picnic or snack to eat when you arrive at your destination or plan to buy a treat. This is called bribery. It’s not enough to make them jump for joy at the prospect of going, but it eases the pain.
· Things work better when I start small instead of turning things on their heads all at once. I’m trying to do it bit by bit.
· And if I’ve learned anything in the decade I’ve been raising teenagers, I know that I should never never get discouraged by grumbling. Most teenagers grumble out of principle. I’ve found that If I cheerfully keep dogging away that they will eventually accept the changes as part of who we are and what we do. One of these days, one of them will come up and say, “Mom, where are we walking tomorrow?” without any tacked-on complaints. At that point, I'll know we’re in business.
Loved this. Thank you! It's so nice to learn from the experienced.
ReplyDeleteI don't envy having a houseful of teenagers, but I'm impressed with the system you have to deal with it in a positive way. (Is it hypocritical of me to say that when I was just recently one of those teenagers in your house?...)
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